Understanding Script: Our Unconscious Life Plan
This week I’m looking at the concept of Script in a bit more detail. Last week, we explored this in relation to ulterior communication, and I felt that it needed a bit more fleshing out.
From a young age, we all start to make sense of the chaotic world around us. In doing this, we draw conclusions from what we see and make decisions about life and relationships which often continue to shape our thinking, our emotional responses, and our behaviour through our adult life. These early decisions are not random; they are essential to helping us to feel safe in our environment and give us a sense of emotional security.
These early “decisions” are made using the logic of a child. This logic, compiled with a limited understanding of the world and experience starts to take shape even before we begin to speak. It becomes the foundation of core beliefs that influence our later decisions, guiding us on what kind of life we should lead. In my specialist area, Transactional Analysis therapy with an emphasis on couples therapy, these frameworks are called our scripts.
What is a Script?
A quick recap, Transactional Analysis therapy, or TA was developed by Dr Eric Berne in the 1950s. He named Script as an unconscious life plan that will begin to form in early childhood. It shapes how we view ourselves, how we relate to others, how we move through the world from moment to moment and how we predict that life will unfold.
Everyone has a Script, rather than looking at it as something to get rid of, I suggest learning how to work with it: recognising the positive and negative beliefs and choosing how to respond to them. What matters in both individual therapy and marriage counselling is the awareness of the Script and how we respond to, rather than react to, our Script messages. The more conscious we become of their Scripts, the easier it is to understand their behaviours, responses, and the values that they carry. With this self-awareness, we have the freedom to make conscious and meaningful choices about how to live, and the relationships we invest in.
How Script is Formed?
Scripts will start to form in early childhood, even before an infant has the capacity to talk. During this pre-verbal period, a child will aim to make sense of their environment using the cognitive tools that they have, and their limited emotional awareness.
A child’s Script is shaped by:
The emotional tone and atmosphere they grow up in
Sensory experiences such as what they see, hear, smell, and feel
The behaviour and emotional expressions of caregivers
Messages received from significant others, both spoken and unspoken
Their own internal interpretations and emotional responses
The unique interplay with a child’s predisposition, its genetics, biology, and temperament
Every child will process all these experiences differently and will form internal decisions about who they are, how safe they are, how safe others are and how the world is likely to treat them. These conclusions are often formed subconsciously but go on to shape the story that they will carry into their adult lives.
As another TA theorist, Richard Erskine put it:
“The Script helps you give an answer to the central question in life: what does someone like me do, with people like you, in a world like this?”
Recognising Script Patterns
Elements of your scripts are likely to become more visible via recurring themes in your life.
These may include
Ongoing difficulties in relationships
A sense of being stuck in familiar patterns despite your best efforts
A persistent inner critic or feelings of not belonging or not good enough
Sabotaging yourself just as things begin to improve
In therapy sessions, I see patterns as good data. I often discuss patterns which emerge with clients so we can see if they provide some insight into the structure and the messages of a client’s Script. I see this as a collaborative part of therapy to working with my clients for us to understand this together.
Can We Change Our Script?
Yes. A Script is powerful, but it does not have to be a permanent thing. The structures of a Script can be loosened and changed.
Awareness is usually the first step that individual or relationship counselling will take towards meaningful change. Adding adult logic is not enough to change patterns that are rooted in early emotional exchanges. Transactional Analysis therapy creates a space to look at the messages of your Script, to reflect on their meaning and to integrate new perspectives which will support growth.
This is rarely a straightforward or linear process, as it usually involves:
Exploring and gaining insight into your Script messages and their significance
Understanding how those experiences have shaped your identity and behaviour
Making meaning of these early experiences in the context of your current life
Using this awareness to experience relating to yourself and others in a more authentic and satisfying way.
A life Script is with us moment by moment as we move through life. Through the work of Transactional Analysis therapy, you and I can mold and re-structure your script to write a different story to live by.
Final Thoughts
Understanding your Script will offer you a powerful insight into why you behave in certain ways, and what some of the negative underlying beliefs might be, especially when you feel stuck, or you find yourself repeating patterns that no longer serve you. By exploring your Script in therapy, you can begin to move through life with more self-awareness, greater clarity, and choices.
If you are curious as to how your own Script may be impacting your life, or shaping your intimate relationships, search online for ‘transactional analysis relationship therapist near me.’ Therapy in this area can offer you a supportive and compassionate space to explore these ideas in more depth.
FAQs
Frequently Asked Questions About Script in Transactional Analysis
1. Is Script the same as personality?
No, not exactly. A Script will influence parts of the personality, but it is also more specific. A Scrip is an unconscious storyline that is developed early in life, relating to who we are, how others will treat us and what we can expect from the world.
2. Can Script be completely rewritten?
Many Script patterns are deeply rooted but are not completely fixed. With therapeutic exploration and emotional insight in both individual and couples therapy, unhelpful patterns can make room for new, healthier decisions. This will usually lead to meaningful and lasting change.
3. How long does it take to understand and change my Script?
In my experience, there is no set time limit. Some people attending relationship counselling notice changes early in the therapeutic process while others may need more time. Script work is very personal and will unfold at a pace that feels right for each person.
4. What kind of therapy works best for exploring Script?
Transactional Analysis is designed for Script work, but there are many integrative, humanistic, psychodynamic and relational approaches that also incorporate elements of Script theory or their own version. What matters most is that the therapeutic relationship that feels safe, respectful, and attuned to your needs.
5. Is it possible to have more than one Script?
People will usually have one core Script, which can express itself in different ways across various areas of life. Your Script for intimate relationships may look different from the one you follow in work settings, but both stem from the same beliefs which make up your Script.
Alex is a qualified Transactional Analysis psychotherapeutic counsellor who works with individuals and offers couples relationship counselling to explore emotional patterns, relationship dynamics, and the deeper roots of current struggles. He trained at the Metanoia Institute and is a registered member of BACP.
References
Berne, E. (1961). Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy. New York: Grove Press.
Erskine, R. G. (1980). Script Cure: Behavioral, Intrapsychic and Physiological. Transactional Analysis Journal, 10(2), 102–106.
Erskine, R. G. (1993). Inquiry, Attunement, and Involvement in the Psychotherapy of Dissociation. Transactional Analysis Journal, 23(4), 184–190.