Are You Exhausted?
TL;DR
Exhaustion is more than tiredness; it is a deep weariness that affects body and mind.
It builds gradually, often masking deeper feelings such as grief, sadness, or fear. Exhaustion can act both as a protective shield from these deeper feelings as well as creating disconnection from yourself and others.
Therapy provides space to slow down, uncover hidden patterns, and explore the barriers that keep you stuck in cycles of depletion.
When Exhaustion Becomes More Than Tiredness
You want to sleep. You can’t. It’s 2am, you are in bed, and your thoughts are racing. You feel the constant pull to check your phone even though you long to rest. Your chest feels tight and heavy. You are tired, but this is more than tiredness. Your thoughts are racing and unclear. A deep weariness that makes it difficult to be present with yourself or with those you care about sits through your whole body.
Exhaustion is not simply about needing more sleep. It is about the ongoing demand to be “on” emotionally, mentally, and physically, without enough space to recover. If this sounds familiar, it may be time to look into therapy in London to get a handle on what is going on.
Why Exhaustion Happens
Exhaustion often builds gradually. Modern life pushes us to move faster, achieve more, and emphasises a need to stay connected at all times. Even rest can feel like another task that must be completed properly. You may carry silent expectations that you should cope without struggle, maintain appearances, or avoid letting others down.
Over time, the pressure becomes constant. You are no longer only tired after a long day; you are depleted at your core. The body holds the tension, the mind keeps spinning, and genuine rest feels out of reach, potentially leading to insomnia.
Exhaustion as an Emotional Safety Blanket
Exhaustion is not only a physical signal, but it can also be a relational one. Exhaustion often acts as a cover for deeper feelings that have not been given space. Stress, business, anxiety, or exhaustion can take the place of harder-to-feel emotions such as grief, sadness, or fear.
Exhaustion also creates disconnection. When you are constantly “on” you lose touch with your inner world, with those around you, and with the quieter, gentler signals about what matters most and what brings you joy. It can feel easier to stay busy than to face what is happening inside, but the cost is that your relationships and sense of self can begin to feel disconnected, distant, or dulled. In some cases, this can also lead to a feeling of being stuck, with mental health issues recurring over time as they haven’t been given the space to be explored.
In this way, exhaustion becomes a form of psychological safety. It is unpleasant, but familiar. It shields you from what feels too raw or overwhelming, while quietly eroding the connections that matter most.
“It is what it is.”
Life bombards us with messages that we should perform, be tough, endure, and persevere. The common response to disconnection is to minimise its impact with phrases such as “it is what it is.” The trouble is, this often leads us to rush past the reality of our experience, rather than acknowledge it.
Exhaustion and disconnection build up in layers. To fully understand the weight and impact of these experiences takes time, as does the process of reconnecting with ourselves and with what has been lost along the way.
Therapy offers you a space to slow down, acknowledge the experience, notice what sits beneath exhaustion and fatigue, what’s being avoided, and begin to restore balance. Leaning into the experience, rather than pushing it down. When I work with clients experiencing chronic exhaustion, relief can come quickly, yet the deeper work of exploring the internal barriers that keep us in repetitive cycles can also take time.
The Hidden Messages in Exhaustion
Exhaustion can act like a messenger. It signals that something in your life is not working as it should. Sometimes the message is about external demands: the job that drains you, the relationship that takes more than it gives, or the relentless pace of responsibilities.
Other times, exhaustion is more internal. It points to unconscious beliefs and patterns that drive you to over function, over give, or overperform. Early “script messages” from childhood may play a role: ideas such as “don’t rest,” “don’t show weakness,” or “don’t have needs.” These internal rules keep you moving forward, even when your body and mind are pleading for pause.
Recognising these deeper patterns is not about blame. It is about seeing how exhaustion is not a flaw but a signal, showing you what is out of step between your inner world and outer life.
FAQs
1. How do I know if I am exhausted, not just tired?
Tiredness is usually resolved with rest or sleep. Exhaustion feels deeper, persists even after rest, and often comes with emotional and relational disconnection.
2. Can exhaustion be linked to deeper emotional issues?
Yes. Exhaustion can substitute for harder-to-feel emotions like grief or fear. It may also be driven by internalised messages such as “don’t rest” or “don’t have needs.”
3. How can therapy help with exhaustion?
Therapy provides a space to slow down, notice what exhaustion or burnout is signalling, and explore the deeper patterns that keep it alive. It can help you reconnect with yourself and make the changes needed to restore balance.
Final Thoughts
Exhaustion is a signal that something in your life is misaligned and that your inner resources need care. When left unaddressed, it keeps you disconnected from your feelings, your partner, your friends, and even from yourself, heightening the chance of burnout.
The work of therapy is not just about finding strategies to rest. It is about exploring what you have been carrying, what you have been avoiding, and how to reconnect with the parts of yourself that have been neglected. By listening to exhaustion rather than fighting it, you can begin to rebuild energy, presence, and connection.
About Me
I offer individual and couples therapy, supporting clients to explore emotional patterns, relationship dynamics, and the deeper roots of feeling stuck or disconnected.
I’m a psychotherapeutic counsellor trained in Transactional Analysis at the Metanoia Institute, and a registered member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). My approach is collaborative and grounded in curiosity, with appropriate challenge where needed to support meaningful change.
References
English, F. (1972). Rackets and Real Feelings: Part II. Transactional Analysis Journal, 2(1), 23–25. https://doi.org/10.1177/036215377200200108